Most people know by now that exercise is an essential form of therapy for me. Today as I was out pulling the sled around the west part of town, I came upon this crossroad, as far as my workout goes, once I cross it I am just about at the half mile mark of my sled pull, and usually by the time I get to it I am ready to turn around. As always though I crossed it and get the job done. Which is always rewarded with a feeling of accomplishment, because I know when I hit the half mile mark, I have to pull another half mile to get back to the gym, and finishing is amazing.
Some crossroads don't have a clear choice, or a right or wrong choice. Some crossroads are a must that will have a consequence that is out of our hands.
Examples in my life of these sort of crossroads are the following:
My parents divorcing
The birth of each of my children, as none of them were planned.
The Tornado that ever changed who I was and who I am now
These events were all things just happened, and I had to learn how to "roll with the punches". There have been more than just those of course, but those are the ones I can share. As I've grown older and hopefully wiser, I have learned that when we are faced with a crossroad, life changing events that for the most part, we have no control over, we can either resist it or embrace it. By embracing it, I believe we are saying to the universe that this crossroad is now a "Right of Passage" that I am going to own, not fear. I am not going to let it break me down. This right of passage will help me learn, grow and be stronger than I was before.
I have had a bit of time to think about this, with good reason. It's funny to me that coming across those railroad tracks helped me make sense of what is about to happen and how I am going to handle it.
A week from today, I am having a surgery done that will put an end to my child bearing years. While I had my tubes tide after Sophie was born, in the back of my mind I always thought that if I ever really wanted to I could have a reversal. Not next week though, it will be final. This has made my heart a bit heavy. Not that I was planning to have more children, but its so final. But, guess what? I have no choice. It's a must. So it will be my Right of Passage, I am entering a new phase in my life. I will find peace with it because that is what I want. I don't expect it to be easy, as these things never are. I can tell you that being out of the gym is going to be TORTURE on my brain, but I'll deal with it and be back as soon as physically possible.
By being able to find peace with it, by humbly seeking strength from God and by just rolling with it, I will become stronger.
